Confidence Coaching for Women: Reclaiming the Power That Was Always Yours
As a confidence coach and perimenopausal woman I am still…
Imagine this: You’re in your late 30s or early 40s, juggling a career, family, relationships—and suddenly everything feels harder. You’re forgetting appointments, losing your words mid-sentence, and your moods are swinging like a metronome on overdrive. You wonder, Is this burnout? Early dementia? Or am I just losing the plot?
The answer might be something no one told you about: ADHD and perimenopause. And for many women, especially those with undiagnosed ADHD, the overlap of these two life phases can feel like the rug is being pulled out from under them.
ADHD and perimenopause symptoms in women are too often misunderstood. While perimenopause affects hormone levels, ADHD can amplify emotional and cognitive struggles — especially for women who never knew they had it. For many, this is when undiagnosed ADHD and perimenopause finally come to light.
This blog explores 10 ways ADHD and perimenopause symptoms collide—and how understanding this intersection could be the key to reclaiming your brilliance.
ADHD in women often flies under the radar. We weren’t the kids bouncing off the classroom walls. We were the daydreamers, the doodlers, the ones who seemed fine but always felt one step behind. Many women don’t get diagnosed until adulthood—sometimes not until perimenopause sets in and everything gets that much harder.
The traditional ADHD stereotype—hyperactive boys who can’t sit still—doesn’t reflect how the condition presents in most women. Our symptoms often look like chronic disorganisation, emotional sensitivity, and exhaustion from years of masking.
Women with ADHD are more likely to internalise their struggles. Instead of acting out, we people-please. We mask. We overcompensate. But masking comes at a cost: exhaustion, shame, and self-doubt.
And then perimenopause hits.
Perimenopause is a natural transition that affects every system in your body, including your brain. Estrogen—which helps regulate dopamine, a key neurotransmitter for attention and mood—starts to fluctuate and decline.
Why does this matter? Because dopamine is central to executive function—the part of the brain responsible for focus, memory, motivation, and emotional regulation. When estrogen drops, dopamine struggles to stay balanced. For neurodivergent brains, this imbalance is amplified.
In practical terms, things you once managed through routine or structure now feel impossible. The coping strategies that once worked start to crumble, and daily life feels harder than it ever did.
Here’s where it gets especially confusing: ADHD and perimenopause share many symptoms. When they overlap, it can be hard to distinguish the root cause.
Common overlapping symptoms include:
Many women are told these symptoms are “just menopause.” But if you’ve been living with undiagnosed ADHD, what you’re experiencing could be a double hit to your executive function—and you deserve support that reflects that.
For many women, perimenopause is the moment where the mask slips. The strategies that kept them functioning begin to fail. Suddenly, life feels harder in ways that are hard to articulate—but deeply felt.
As Margaret Reed Roberts shared in Dr. Louise Newson’s podcast, perimenopause made her undiagnosed ADHD unbearable. For the first time, she couldn’t hold it together, and the emotional toll was immense.
Many women in their 40s and 50s are misdiagnosed with anxiety or depression. They’re prescribed medication that doesn’t address the root issue. They’re told it’s stress or hormones—but not ADHD. And without proper diagnosis or support, the risk of burnout, relationship strain, and job loss increases.
Here are some ways this might show up in your life:
“It felt like my brain had been tossed into a washing machine, and all of the delicate bits that made it sparkle had dissolved. Everything took three times longer than it should have.” — Noelle Faulkner, The Guardian
These are not personality flaws. They are symptoms of a neurochemical shift.
“This isn’t about being forgetful—it’s about your brain chemistry shifting under your feet.” – EmpowerHer
For some, an ADHD diagnosis in midlife feels like a revelation. For others, it’s more about self-recognition—finally putting language to what you’ve always felt.
Diagnosis isn’t about labelling—it’s about liberation. It allows you to reframe your past and adjust your present. It gives you permission to stop beating yourself up for things your brain wasn’t wired to do easily.
Reading books like “You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!” by Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo or “Women with Attention Deficit Disorder” by Sari Solden can be transformative. These works validate the female ADHD experience and offer real-world tools for managing it.
Self-awareness can also shift how you advocate for yourself in healthcare, the workplace, and your relationships. You stop minimising your needs—and start meeting them.
If your ADHD symptoms have intensified with age, HRT might be worth exploring. Rebalancing estrogen can help stabilise dopamine levels and support better cognitive function.
It’s not a magic fix—but many women report noticeable improvements in clarity, mood, and focus. Working with a practitioner who understands both menopause and ADHD is key. If you’re dismissed, keep going. You deserve better care.
Remember: ADHD is a dopamine-regulation condition.
It’s all connected.
If you receive an ADHD diagnosis, medication might be offered. While not for everyone, stimulants like methylphenidate (Ritalin) or amphetamines (Elvanse) can enhance focus, reduce overwhelm, and improve your ability to follow through.
When combined with therapy, coaching, or support groups, medication becomes part of a wider toolkit—not a cure-all, but a powerful ally.
Important note: ADHD medication is often under-prescribed for women, especially midlife women. Don’t let that deter you. Your needs are valid.
Confidence coaching supports you to navigate this messy middle with intention. At EmpowerHer, we’ve worked with hundreds of women navigating perimenopause, ADHD, or both.
Our Brilliance Blueprint™ coaching programme blends creative tools with neuroscience-backed strategies. We help you:
“Brilliance never pauses—and neither does your potential.” – EmpowerHer
The shame of struggling in silence keeps us stuck. The antidote? Connection.
Whether it’s through a coaching circle, a WhatsApp group, or a podcast that finally makes you feel seen—community transforms isolation into empowerment.
Find spaces that honour your lived experience. Read books by women who’ve walked this path. Join conversations that reflect your truth.
You don’t have to do this alone. And you shouldn’t.
Many women report a decline in workplace confidence during perimenopause. Add ADHD into the mix and it’s no surprise that productivity, time management, and performance suffer.
Common challenges:
These are not signs of incompetence—they are signs you need tailored support. Not doing so can lead to a crash of self confidence and low feelings. Unfortunately, most workplaces don’t always connect these dots. EmpowerHer is passionate about providing suppport and creating lasting change. Through our coaching and knowledge sharing, we can help women remain confident and successful in their roles.
Jess was 44 when she hit a wall. A high-achieving creative director and mum of two, she had always relied on lists, caffeine, and late nights to stay on top of things. But now, her brain felt scrambled. She would walk into rooms and forget why. Meetings left her anxious and teary. Her once-reliable memory felt like Swiss cheese.
“I thought I was losing my mind,” she said. “Nothing I did worked anymore. I was terrified I’d get fired.”
After hearing a podcast on ADHD in women, something clicked. She pursued an assessment and received a late diagnosis of ADHD. That moment changed everything.
With medication, confidence coaching, and hormone therapy, Jess rebuilt her systems and self-trust. “I’m still me,” she says, “but with less shame and a whole lot more self-understanding.”
Her story is not unusual. It’s the quiet revolution happening in women’s health—if we start naming it.
ADHD and perimenopause symptoms don’t just add up — they multiply. For many women, this collision comes with years of missed diagnoses, internalised shame, and confusion. Whether you’ve lived with ADHD your whole life, or you’re just starting to recognise it now, understanding this moment in your life is powerful.
You deserve clarity. You deserve support. And you’re not alone.
ADHD and perimenopause have long been an underexplored combination. But the more we talk about undiagnosed ADHD and perimenopause — and the symptoms they create together — the more we open doors for care, self-trust, and brilliant new beginnings.
Because your brilliance never pauses, Amy xx
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